So for the next few posts I thought I’d add some of my own discoveries and self work from my journal. Due to it’s personal natural I have been hesitating in posting some of it. But I was rereading some thoughts in it last night and decided I have to share it with others in hopes that that it may help someone else the way it helped me. So here’s some thoughts I’d like to share from my journey.
First off, gratitude is the most important thing to remember. The master is always grateful and at peace. I knew this… I know this but it seems I had forgotten it. These last few weeks have been a struggle… granted there’s been glimpses of heaven, my mind was overcome by ego and the desire of wanting. Never satisfied, never content, never grateful, and filled with a sense of lack, frustration, etc.
However, I realized a few things… well where to even begin really, I just spent the past hour lying in bed unable to sleep with my mind racing. I couldn’t seem to figure out where all this discontentment was coming from and it was driving me mad. I noticed my general happiness had declined. I’ve felt it slowly slip from me these past few weeks. Looking back it’s so clear to see, and even with my great high moments of bliss such as spending time with my girlfriend and friends, I didn’t get the bigger picture of what was taking place. However, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour right? Thus it dawned on me the meaning of the concept…
Relativity… it’s all about relativity. Now the only problem is that I let my ego thinking have power again and it was choosing thoughts of negativity and emotions of the opposite side of the spectrum of relativity I want to be on. The trick is with relativity is that nothing is essentially “bad” since all has a purpose. So it’s important to accept all things but that doesn’t mean you have to become them. Just because murder exists doesn’t mean you have to indulge in it. Like the classic phrase goes how would you appreciate the sun if it was never cloudy or rainy or perhaps more simply how do you know you’re truly happy if you’ve never felt sad. This actually reminds me of Siddhartha’s journey and how he asked what is this thing called “suffering” because growing up as a Prince his father kept him completely sheltered from negativity. He didn’t understand relativity and thus he came to his enlightened thought of the middle way through spending years denying his body and suffering. Just because there is relativity does not mean you sway one way or the other necessarily. It’s about balance and conscious control.
Anyway, so much on my mind so many realizations and incredible growth and learning that I am grateful for. However, main thing I want to get across and develop and set in stone here and now is the concept of contentment and creation. Lately I have been having a hard time finding this balance. Which has led to my ego thinking easily slipping back into power due to my misunderstanding. On one hand I first lived in contentment and gratitude for the absolute bliss around me… then I lost that after a period of time when I learned of the concept of how to create my reality and manifest my desires through the law of attraction. This was an easy in for the ego and my mind was overcome by seeking desire outside myself.
Here is the thing, my thought was how can I be content and still be longing for things… If I was truly content there’d be no growth and no progression since I’d be in bliss exactly as things are. However, I didn’t fully understand this concept correctly and thus it confused me. When I added the fact that I can create anything in my reality and make anything of my life I all the sudden wanted all these things now! NOW, NOW! Like a classic capitalistic consumer child.
However, wanting great experiences in life is not the problem, in fact it’s the opposite. You should want great things, or in other words, things that will make you happy. You’re here to do whatever you want… most people if they’re choosing… would obviously choose happiness. No one consciously chooses to be unhappy. All unhappiness is created from an ego/unconscious mind that creates a sense of separation and lack in our minds through our beliefs and thus our actions and finally our reality, which then reinforces the whole process.
So here is where the problem arose… I couldn’t be content because I was wanting these experiences and thus it was easy for my ego to take over and want to control the situation. But here is where I found the solution. First, and foremost, an immediate dismissal, and letting go of ego mindset and thoughts. Not rejection or denial, but an acceptance, acknowledgement, identification, and then removal by letting it pass giving it no energy whatsoever. Thus I’m not fighting myself as if it’s not there because that in fact just gives it more power and energy. It’s about realizing it’s there and noticing that it is simply a thought process and not Who you are! I had to learn to just let the ego thoughts pass. It now makes sense why Dr. Grayson (Mindful Loving) says to identify the thoughts as ego or enemy thoughts because it helps you not accept them as you! The ego wants you to think it’s you, it wants you to accept it’s thoughts as your thoughts. That’s where all it’s power comes from, by our identification with it! Hence Dr. Grayson’s concept of blatantly identifying it, even verbally if we have to by saying “there’s one of those ego thoughts again” so that we can separate ourselves from it and let it pass without judging ourselves for it. Since it’s not us, there is no reason to judge… Also by identifying it, the ego thinking loses all power because it’s only power comes from you identifying WITH it! So if you see it as just a thought separate from Who you truly are it will have no effect and will pass. And in fact the better you get at it the less they will even intrude because you will consciously train your mind to not even accept them in the first place.
So after remembering to let go of my ego thinking and subsequently seeking happiness outside myself, I then was able to see clearly what I needed to see. I can be content and create the things I want in life at the same time. Here’s how it works. You’re content because you know all the things you want will manifest! This is where I got lost these past few weeks, my ego mind wanted things now, wanted more, and eventually wasn’t happy when things weren’t showing up as fast as I had hoped or planned, etc.Thus putting me into a vibration of unhappiness and lack.
This just feeds the ego mind and now I’m back in it’s grasp wanting to create my happiness some how and from external things. Thus it reinstates itself as ruler of my mind. But once I realized this I’m free to come back to a peace of mind because I can see my enemy clearly and thus transcend it by simply letting it go. So now I see that by staying consciously in the moment, (Eckhard Tolle – Power of Now) with gratitude, joy, happiness, peace, and unconditional love all the bliss I need is already there in every moment all I have to do is realize it!
The master will ask the great question to the student of what is missing? NOTHING! I don’t need anything technically to be happy. Happiness is with-IN me! I can create anything, I create my reality from within! I DO!!! [Creating Happiness] The reason why I stress this is because it’s within me! “I” in the purest sense, create my happiness! I create my peace and bliss! Money doesn’t create the happiness, traveling doesn’t give you happiness, material objects in general don’t give you happiness, even food doesn’t! EVERYTHING! Every joy comes from within you! This is a ridiculously powerful concept when you truly, truly deep in your soul, grasp it!
Essentially it’s saying that you could be at peace in absolutely any situation! Now here’s the fun part, you do in fact create your reality, so I ask myself, what ramifications does this have. Well if you know that happiness is within you and that no matter what the external circumstances, than they have no real power over you! You are free because you are always at peace within regardless as long as you stay present and conscious. And with that realization you’re free to now create everything you want as long as you maintain this thinking! You can’t ever forget though that you’re always in peace and joy and that the manifesting of your reality is just the fun you’re having kind of like playing a game! In fact, that’s exactly what it’s like! You’re just God playing a game bringing things into your reality as you so choose! So once you see life in this way all you have to do is stay in your state of bliss and peace and watch as you create experiences that bring you more joy, always being weary that the joy comes from within not from the actual “things.”
The things are just a reflection of your joy and thus you created them and attracted them to yourself from BEING the joy first! Your peace, joy, gratitude, bliss, and unconditional love just brings and attracts more of those things to you since you already are those things!!! So in a sense the only thing you have to do is stay in a feeling of contentment and peace of mind because you know that you are Divine! You know that you can manifest anything! All you have to do is enjoy the ride, enjoy your creations! Enjoy your manifestations! Enjoy your beautiful life that you craft for yourself out of a state of mind of peace and happiness! Take life less seriously because an attitude of seriousness is a lower vibration of energy. Christ admonished “be like unto a child.” Be full of wonder, naivete, and joy! Always being filled with gratitude. As I mentioned at the beginning gratitude is the most important thing to remember!